Not a new year’s resolution

I made a commitment to myself to start blogging regularly now that I’ve graduated from school, yet with the holidays and the new year, it felt so forced…so trite. It’s nearly impossible to get away from the reflective approach at this time of year, yet everything in me screams, “Don’t do it!”

So here’s me starting anew, pretending it’s not the start of a new year.

This week, I began reading Mark for my daily devotions. After walking with the Lord for over 35 years, I’ve read this gospel many times, yet one word strikes me the same way every time: “immediately.” There is a fraught nature to this gospel, a sense that deep pondering has no place here, that I should allow my heart and soul to react…immediately. It makes me realize how often I slowly, methodically consider things–even the things of faith. And while I believe it’s essential that we regularly and meditatively consider our Christian faith, Mark makes it clear that quick reactions have their place, too.

I’m not a quick thinker, nor a quick actor. This makes me nervous. What if I act wrongly? What if my choice is unwise? What if, what if…?

Yet Mark moves me to flip that thinking on its head: what if I miss out on a blessing by tarrying to analyze? What if the moment is gone, the transcendent moment that illumines some brilliant truth? What if the paralytic had stopped to think, to analyze, to consider? Instead, he “immediately picked up the pallet and went out in the sight of everyone, so that they were all amazed and were glorifying God, saying, ‘We have never seen anything like this'” (Mark 2:12, NASB).

Help me embrace immediacy, Father. Give me to courage to leap out in faith, to trust you with abandon, to be a poster child for your work in this world. Let my witness cause others to be amazed and to glorify you.

It’s not a new year’s resolution. It’s a promise to my Dad.

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